While soliciting questions for William, a friend of mine (who obviously doesn't read the show) sent me this:
Q. Mr. Werewolf, what's your favorite brand of shaving cream?
A. Well, Delilah, during most days of the month I prefer Gillette for sensitive skin. However, when the full moon comes up, I switch from a standard razor to veterinary grade sheers. Like the ones they use on llamas.
Q. But, I would think that during the full moon, you'd have other things going on than worrying about shaving.
A. I've always aspired to be like the werewolf in the classic Warren Zevon song, Werewolves of London. "I saw a werewolf drinking a pina coloda at Trader Vic's/ His hair was perfect." Being in an animal frenzy is no excuse for bad grooming.
I don't really know. I've never met a werewolf that I'm aware of, however I suspect I've dated one or two. Nor have I had an opportunity to really think about what I would ask one beyond "Please don't kill me."
Writer for Soldak