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Old 01-26-2009, 05:06 PM
Delilah Rehm's Avatar
Delilah Rehm Delilah Rehm is offline
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 734
Default Episode 5: Pig Haul

Both teams met at the base of a towering cliff face. Nearby an open pen contained two large hogs and two coils of synthetic rope.

Christina (vampire) sat on a low tree limb with Paige (zombie) leaning against the trunk beneath.

Haimes (scree) peered around Eadric (warrior). "Are you sure you ate today, Paige?"

She nodded. "Yes. Los of fishh."

"I’m starving," Lorimer (sorcerer) complained. "Do you think we’ll get to keep the pigs?

"Those aren’t pigs," Lina (rogue) said. "They’re hogs. And you wouldn’t be hungry, Lori, if you would’ve eaten the snails I brought back from the rocks in the surf."

"My name isn’t Lori."

"Get her with your bee attack illusion." Kailen (fairy) laughed.

"I need to save my energy for the competition," Lorimer replied. "Besides, she’s not worth it."

"Here comes the Eagle." Ranzkin (gnome) pointed at the bird in the sky. It released the stone from its claw. The rock fell through tree limbs, snapping off branches.

Jewel (cyclops) caught it before it struck the ground. "I can’t get the massage off."

"Give it here." Gorm (mage) grabbed the rock and untied the twine around the paper. He read the note aloud. "Today’s competition is called Pig Haul."

"Wait," Nessa (elf) interrupted. "Did you just say ‘Big Haul’?

"No, I said ‘Pig’ as in the animal. Pig Haul. Both tribes must haul one pig up the cliff. The tribe who has every team member and one pig on top of the cliff first wins the competition."

"I call the rope for Tribe Kivi," Amber (unicorn) yelled, one hand buried into both coils.

"What?" Dedrick (centaur) frowned. "That’s not fair."

"Fair is for losers," Lina said.

Christina startled a surprised Amber when she wrapped her arm around the unicorn-girl’s neck. She dropped her face near Amber’s ear. "Are you sure you want to take all of the rope?"

"Umm… Maybe not."

"That’s a good girl."

"Don’t patronize her," Dedrick said.

"Jeez horse-man, whose side are you on anyway?" Christina asked.


Christina is creepy. How can someone be alive when they’re dead, when their heart doesn’t beat? I can’t breath when she touches me. I hope she goes home this week!

I was really excited about this competition. Finally, something not in the ocean. I was going to do my part and help my tribe, but then that thing touched me! I couldn’t think straight after that.


"Enough bickering!" Nessa shouted. "We have a race to win. Jewel, can you get up the cliff face?"

The cyclops shaded her eyes with one hand, inspecting the height. "Should be able to. Just need to make some hand and foot holds." She pulled back her arm and slammed it into the cliff face. Her fist buried in the rock up to her wrist. She freed her hand and nodded. "Just tie the hog on my back."

"Eadric will take the lead and Gorm and I will help support the weight from each side." Lina pushed on the hog, but it wouldn’t stand. "Unless you think you can do it, Lori?"

"Shut up." Lorimer grumbled to himself as he stalked off.

"Kailen, a little help." Lina gave up on the pig.

"I don’t talk to mammals," Kailen said.

"Then what good are you?" Lina asked angrily.

"Like this." Eadric pulled an apple from a pouch and coaxed the hog to the side of the fence. Lina and Gorm wrapped rope around its middle. "There’s one problem," Eadric said. "When the rope rubs on the rock, it’ll break."

Lina looked up sharply. "Oh hell. What’ll we do?"

Ranzkin had coaxed the other pig up so Dedrick and Christina could tie the pig on Jewel’s back. The animal squealed and grunted.

"There’s no way we can beat the cyclops," Haimes said.

"If we had more time, we could make a pulley…"

"But we don’t," Lina interrupted. "Gorm, you’ll have to have the pig tied to you. You can keep your feet on the rock while Eadric and I pull from above."

"The rope’s too short," Lorimer said. "It won’t reach the top."

"We can take some of it off the hog," Gorm said.

"Guys," Kailen began, "Jewel’s halfway up."

"Drunken Monkey!" Eadric exclaimed.


Watch Kivi's Underworld Movie


Gorm (mage) closed his eyes and chanted softly. He raised his arms and Jewel (cyclops) lost her grip on the stone. She dangled by an arm, then fell backward, shaking the ground when she landed on her back, on the hog. The animal screamed as blood gushed from its ears and nose. Then it lay still.

"It doesn’t have to be alive, does it?" Christina (vampire) asked.

Nessa (elf) read over the instructions and shrugged. "Doesn’t say."

"Are you okay, Jewel," Ranzkin (gnome) asked as Jewel sat up and held the back of her head.

"My neck hurts."

"Not whiplash." Kailen (fairy) flew around the cyclops. "Piglash!" He doubled over laughing.

"It got wet," Jewel said.

Dedrick (centaur) limped over to the cliff face and examined the rock. "It’s wet. But how?"

Christina glared at Gorm. "Stupid mage. Paige, come bite our dead pig. Living is a matter of perspective." As Paige (zombie) ambled over and bit the broken hog on Jewel’s back, Eadric (warrior) began climbing the cliff, supporting the weight on Gorm’s back. Lina (rogue) and Lorimer (sorcerer) took supporting positions.

"It’s easier now that the hog stopped squirming," Gorm said, breathing hard.

Lina looked down from the left. "It’s dead."

"What?" Gorm asked. "But how?"

Lina pointed at Christina who was licking blood from her lips and grinning. "Don’t start what you can’t finish water-boy."

Lorimer nearly lost his grip and screamed. "I can’t do this."

Haimes (scree) quickly climbed to his side. "Give me the rope."

Jewel climbed, pulling wet soil from the wall but keeping her grip. The zombie pig kept writhing trying to get its head close enough to bite even though its mouth was tied shut. Jewel came to a long overhang. "That wasn’t here before," she said.

"It’s just Lorimer’s magic," Nessa called up the cliff. "Keep going."

Jewel shook her head. "I might fall again. Stop him."

Nessa looked around the meadow. "I don’t see him."

"Leave it to me," Christina said, jumping into a tree.


"At first I though this challenge would be easy with Jewel on our side, but I didn’t realize her hands were too big to cling to the wall. Having to make, basically a latter up the side ate up a lot of time. And then Tribe Kivi kept getting in our way! If we lose because they killed our hog, well… It’s on. That’s all I’m going to say. If Lina wants to play dirty, she’s got it. We can be just as cruel and devious.

"I wish William was here to see this. He’d be a great climber, and I know he’d have found Lorimer sooner. It’s depressing having to go on without him. I pretty much hate everyone else on my team. On the island for that matter!"


"By Dor’s beard!" Eadric exclaimed. He dropped a few feet down, nearly closing his hold.

"What?" Gorm asked.


"Are you kidding me?" Lina asked. "Are we going to lose because of a spider?"

"Lina, you’re not helping," Gorm said. "Kailen, we need you."

The fairy flew up to Eadric. He leaned close, head tilted to the side. "Poor guy. Eadric, you’ve nearly scared it to death!" Kailen pulled the spider from the wall and hugged it to his chest. "I’ve got you now. You’re going to be okay."

Christina shook tree after tree, sending a cascade of leaves fluttering to the ground.

"How’s that taking care of it?" Nessa asked.

Christina started scooping up leaves. "He’s not near the trees. Help me with this." Nessa filled her arms with leaves. Christina climbed partway up the cliff using Jewel’s holes. She tossed the leaves out toward the meadow. Nessa did the same after Christina climbed down. This time, the vampire ran along the perimeter of the falling leaves until she collided with something. She fell on the ground, tangled in Lorimer’s cape.

"Get off me, you…" Lorimer struggled.

"Maybe I won’t drink your blood," Christina said. "But if I keep Paige from food and let her lose it on you, well…" Christina chuckled. "That’d be an accident, wouldn’t it?"

"You wouldn’t," Lorimer said.

"Get in Jewel’s way again, get in my way, and we’ll find out." Christina climbed off of the shaken sorcerer. She looked up as Jewel crossed over the lip of the sheer wall. "It’s our turn," she called to the rest of her team.

Eadric crossed the lip and pulled on the harness leading to Gorm. Christina and Nessa, supporting Paige between them were next over before Gorm, Lina and Haimes. Jewel went back down with the rope to fetch Dedrick.

Lorimer had started up Jewel’s handholds, but hurried down when he saw her coming. As Dedrick tied the harness to himself, Lorimer said," see you at the top, losers." He raced up Jewel’s trail.

"We’re going to lose again," Dedrick said, "and it’s my fault. Even if I wasn’t still fighting the zombie infection, I couldn’t get up that wall."

"Talk later," Jewel said. "We’ve got to climb."

"I’m not scared of heights but I’m scared of my body hanging of the side of that cliff," Dedrick said. "Couldn’t we just stay here?"

"No." Jewel began climbing. "What if their dead pig doesn’t count?"

"As opposed to our undead pig?" Dedrick asked.

"We have to get up there." As Jewel and Dedrick crossed the lip, Lina and Gorm were dancing around Kailen, laughing while Eadric panted on the ground.

"Where’s Amber?" Haimes asked.

"Oh hell," Lina said from the cliff’s edge. "She’s still down there!"

A giant eagle dropped a stone and this time Haimes read the message. "Tribe Depths, you have won this challenge. Tribe Kivi, prepare to vote two of your players onto the sacrificial altar on Wednesday. Return to your camps, and leave the pigs."

"I’m going to kill that blonde-headed idiot," Lina swore.
Delilah Rehm
Writer for Soldak

Last edited by Delilah Rehm : 01-26-2009 at 05:48 PM.
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