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  #1  
Old 10-15-2009, 10:28 AM
Delilah Rehm's Avatar
Delilah Rehm Delilah Rehm is offline
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Default Social Anxiety

Before I went to FenCon last month, I had a feeling of dread. I remembered this had happened before other cons, which is strange because I really enjoy cons. Then it occurred to me that I have this same feeling before Christmas. I put two and two together and realized I have this primal social anxiety response before Iím going to be around and interact with large groups of people.

Itís final proof, though sometimes I talk a lot, Iím really an introvert by nature.

In high school I often felt anxiety when in small groups, even with friends, but I was great one on one. Over the years Iíve shed most of my socially awkward proclivities. These days, I feel fairly competent and confident within groups (though not always perfectly comfortable).

I wonder if that feeling of dread will always be there. It reminds me of the time I swam across the shark tank and wasnít scared until I actually moved across the water and saw a shark. Maybe itís deep within my subconscious, in a place not easy to root out. Knowing these things happen to me wonít lessen the effects but perhaps will make it easier to get through them to the good stuff.
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Old 10-15-2009, 11:17 PM
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I get that too. Going with your friends or just hanging around people more often helps. You said you enjoyed the con so just trying to think about enjoying can help. Drugs like Ativan work well too. Or drinking or other things.

Not having it would certainly be more enjoyable but maybe it makes you safer from getting kidnapped by vikings in the past. Something less likely now.
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Old 10-16-2009, 02:22 PM
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Delilah Rehm Delilah Rehm is offline
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If I was around large groups all of the time, I doubt I would have any problem. I enjoy staying home and not having much face-time contact with people most of the time. I think since I dip this way I have trouble the other way. My social anxiety isn't debilitating where I won't go to events with large groups, and once I've arrived I'm fine.

What I really found interesting is, though I've experienced this dread for many years, I didn't realize the cause was knowing I'm about to interact with a large group.

Also, I wonder how much my trust issues play into this. Certainly rejection issues are involved and quite possibly my hypersensitive control issues. Wow. I really sound like a messed up person! Sometimes it's weird to think everyone has their own issues and I'm just another regular person.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:11 AM
Dima Sasha Dima Sasha is offline
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I have the same problem! I know it's difficult. First of all remember that almost everyone is a little nervous around new people.One thing that helps is to know that most people love to talk about themselves. Try to relax and one thing you should never allow yourself to do is to isolate yourself from other people, just get out there and try to practice talking to people. Practice makes perfect
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:59 AM
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Yeah, it's very hard to figure out how most people work. But in the end, most people that you meet are not going to be the most important people in your life. Because in reality, the most important people in your life are the people that accept you for who you are and care about you. Those are the people that matter when it comes to having good social skills. They are also the easiest people to practice talking to.
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